3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Randomize