i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize