It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
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i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
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I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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