I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
