I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
