you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
