I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
