Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just had sex bonerless
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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