..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so let's talk penis.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
