My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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