Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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