This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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