Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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