Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it was like eating out sand paper
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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