Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
