im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize