I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
