This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the condom got lost in my hair
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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