xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize