evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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