A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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