1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize