Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
