We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
