We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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