I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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