Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
