barbara walters just said penis...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
