How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
