Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
