He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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