There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
