i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i out mim tonsoeep
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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