Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
