Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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