You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
