i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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