So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
