Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
