oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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