Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
