He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize