Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize