He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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