ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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