I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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