it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I lost the right to judge tonight
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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