Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize