And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
