don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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