is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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