Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
