You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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