And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
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