id be glad to
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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