apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
