I need to stop coming to work sober
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
