When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
