Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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